


Three Makes a Crowd

by bookbutterfly1999



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Comics), Iron Man (Movies), Iron Man - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Roomates, Bucky Barnes Feels, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Fluff and Crack, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Mentions of Smut, Multi, New Girl au, No Smut, Protective Steve Rogers, Protective Tony Stark, Steve is stubborn, Threesome - M/M/M, Tony Feels, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, menage e trois, mentioned - Freeform, tony is a sweetheart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-27
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:07:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27147788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bookbutterfly1999/pseuds/bookbutterfly1999
Summary: Tony believes in humanity and being kind. Steve thinks he is right to exercise necessary caution while trusting people. The two stubborn men fight it out while trying to have their falling apart loft repaired.Enter Grumpy Landlord. Cue shenanigans.New Girl AU.(AKA the one with Stuckony being super confused and conflicted for 80% of the time, but manage to get together anyways).If you know which episode, you know.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes/Steve Rogers/Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Comments: 7
Kudos: 56





	1. Chapter 1

"Hey man that's our spot! Back off!" Steve bristled from the passenger seat, getting ready for a fight.

"Steve no stop it." Tony hissed, handling the steering wheel adeptly and skid the car to a neat stop.

"Get another bloody one." The other man in a monster truck bellowed as he honked.

"No can do, we came here first!" Steve stared the man down.

The man took out a gun and Steve almost flipped in panic, trying to force Tony to duck.

"Tony stay down." Steve hissed trying to wrestle the brunette down who kept swatting away his hands and giving the other driver a sweet smile.

"You still think he can be reasoned with? He has a gun!" Steve almost shrieked.

"Maybe no one has ever been nice to him. Maybe violence is the only form of expression he has known for a long time." Tony shrugged, still shooting the other huge driver a sheepish smile.

"Hey hi! Don't shoot us! You can have this spot." Tony grinned and made a sweeping gesture towards the empty spot.

"Tony what are you doing? Get down!" Steve whispered loudly.

"Oh don't mind him, he's just over-reacting." Tony shrugged.

"I am over-reacting?" Steve looked scandalised.

"Oh no it's fine man you can park here I will find another one." The other driver nodded, tipping his hat absentmindedly as he drove. Tony triumphantly pulled into the spot, wearing his sunglasses stylishly.

"Did you just outwit a crazy man? Is this reverse psychology? When did you become an expert in human psychology!" Steve was rambling in confusion.

"Aww no! That was called being trusting. No psychology or anything involved. You need a more positive outlook Capitan." Tony patted Steve's head as he got out the car, leaving a stumped Steve to trail after him.

***

"Ugh why is everything here literally two steps away from falling apart?" Tony groaned.

"Hey you knew about this from day 1. You gotta deal man." Clint loudly munched on his popcorn, hugging Lucky on the couch.

"The socket not working? You got to hold it in that angle and tape it Tony." Steve shrugged.

"But why can't we call the landlord to fix it or something?"

"Did he just say landlord?" Sam materialised out of nowhere. 

"Yup I did. This loft needs fixing and it needs the tools that one particular man in this building has." Tony glared as the three original roommates assembled in front of him.

"Look here Tony." Clint snapped in front of Tony's face.

"If there is one cardinal rule to be followed in the loft. One must never, and when I say never, i truly mean never in the entirety of this universe's time-space continuum never, Never call the landlord."

"Whyy?" Tony whined.

"He is super grumpy, I think he is a serial killer or a murderer in hiding." Clint nodded.

"Nah man I think he is either a mercenary or assassin." Same shook his head.

The duo left, bickering.

"Tony, just don't call the landlord, please." Steve fixed Tony with a pleading look.

"Sureeee. I will just be going to see Rhodey now. Buh bye!" Tony sauntered off with a cheery wave.

***

"Knock knock Mr. Landlord?" Tony tried waited for a few minutes before he pushed the door to reveal a very ramshackle space, in dire need of a clean up.

"Hi so I don't know what is your take on blueberry cookies but they are my second favourite after choco chip. Want some?" Tony offered to the glaring man covered head to toe in black attire, hair in an oily mess all around his face, the plate.

"Hey that is a really nice.... knife collection you got there." Tony nodded towards what looked to be the kitchen area.

"Whatcha got there." Tony pointed.

"Pen." The man lift a singular eyebrow.

"Looks snazzy." Tony smiled, wincing internally.

"Oh that is a beautiful miniature bike!" he finally caught sight of the one thing in the room he could connect with.

"I made that." The landlord answered gruffly.

"Oh! That is epic! I really like the detailing here on the miniature engine and the carburetor." Tony smiled as he gently sweeped his fingers.

"What do you want?" The landlord was writing something on the paper, disinterested in the conversation.

"Ok um look, I don't know why my stupid roommates are afraid of you, you seem like an actually great guy and I am sure you don't want us four living in a haphazard and potentially dangerous environ-"

"Did you just say 4?" The landlord looked up sharply, standing up.

"Did I say four? I meant 3, gosh I have the presence of like two folks if you think about it. I am larger than life." Tony tittered nervously.

"I mean if you count Lucky, we do have fou-"

"Who's Lucky? Is that a stripper?"

"No! That's Clint's dog!" Tony was mortified.

"There's a dog in the apartments?" The landlord thundered.

"Oh no no, I meant Clint is a dog! He's so dirty and unkempt and loyal... and his first name is Lucky?" Tony facepalmed internally.

A lifetime of charming people in galas and parties during his teens and in college all down the drain in front of the man with the murder glare and assassin strut. 

***

"Oh hey lovely folk of the loft, I know you guys are really good people, and I request you all to think about how helpful I have been with your technological devices and implore you guys to be kind." Tony turned his best I-am-innocent-please-spare-me look on the trio.

"Oh my god"  
  


"Did you talk to the dam landlord."

"I might have?"

"Ok people it is happening omg omg I am going to die!" Clint whisper-shrieked as he ran through the loft collecting random nick nacks and tackling Lucky out of the room.

"Open up!" Tony winced at the landlord's incessant knocking.

"Ok y'all call me Ramone ok? Ramone. Ra- mone." Sam pointed at himself then ran to help Clint.  
  


"Tony" Steve groaned.

"I was just trying to help." he shrugged.

Clint came back wearing a purple feather boa and a Hawaiian hat, carrying a few bags of luggage. 

"Bye Ramone! Bye Steve!" Clint opened the door, waving air kisses at the loft and walked away swiftly, all the while the landlord glared at them.

"Bye Clint!" Steve and Sam chime, waving, while Tony bellowed "Bye bye Lucky! Go home and call us!".

Sam mouthed a _what the fuck_ at Tony as the landlord entered.

The landlord strode in with quick efficiency, looked at every exit in the room, scanned every nook and cranny in the hall and quickly moved on.

He opened Steve's room at last, to find Clint trying to shoo Lucky off the bed.

"What the hell" The landlord growled.

"Hey be nice, he has a severe case of the tummy aches." Clint chastised him as he petted the whimpering dog.

***

"Four people is fine but having a dog must be discussed with the housing board folks. I suggest you to fork over the extra money for that dog if you still want to have it here." The landlord rasped out, walking out quickly.

"That's fair actually." Clint nodded.

"Hey Mr. Landlord please." Tony started

"Tones just let it go." Sam sighed.

"I want to apologise to you for lying about the number of people in the loft." 

"Don't remind him!" Steve hissed.

"But while you are here, I would like you to have a look around and help us fix a few things? Please James?" Tony turned the full force of his pleading eyes on to the landlord.

"How- How do you know my name? He looked at Tony, spooked.

"I uh- saw it on your dog tags." Tony gestured at the dog tags around James' neck sheepishly.

"In fact even my buddy here Steve was a captain in the army before he came back!" Tony enthusiastically pushed Steve forward.

"Alright, what do you want fixed?" James sighed.

"How about everything." Steve muttered darkly.

"Only him. Not you." James glared at Steve, pointing at Tony.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get intense TM.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dun Dun Dun! This is what you were waiting for (I think?)

"Blueberries?" Tony offered as soon as James let go off the ladder he had hauled up from downstairs along with Tony.

"Where were you hiding that?" James accepted the berries, baffled.

"I have my secrets." Tony grinned mysteriously.

"I could use some help here!" Steve huffed out from the other side of the room, carrying a few boxes.

"Leave them on the couch Steve." Tony waved him off, quickly chattering with the landlord as he led him towards Clint's messy bedroom.

"I uh, I am sorry to bring this up, I know this won't be comfortable to talk about, but your metal arm, uh is it comfortable?" Tony enquired, pursing his lips, genuine concern in his eyes.

James swallowed slowly, taking his time to look at the rest of the room instead of answering Tony's question head on.

"It hurts, all the time." he confessed, surprising himself.

Tony cursed.

"I am so sorry, I knew I heard a groaning sound from it before! Will you let me have a look at it, please?" Tony pleaded, his doe eyes wide, suddenly brandishing a screwdriver out of nowhere.

"Where did you get this one?" James asked, eyes wide in awe.

"I did say I have my secrets didn't I?' Tony gave a shy smile this time, mindful to not spook out the metal armed vet.

An uncomfortable silence descended on the room, stretching on.

"Oh wait that must have sounded super random!" Toy facepalmed and left the room muttering something, James confused whether to follow him or not.

"Ok so I am Tony Stark, you might be familiar with my last name, I don't advertise it much and go by Carbonell nowadays. I am an engineer from MIT and currently started my own new company called Carbonell Private Limited. I uh know my ways around prosthetics since I was on the team that worked out the prototype for Stark Industries way back... now will you let me have a look at your hurting arm please?" Tony beseeched, holding up his Carbonell Pvt. Ltd. ID card up as proof to James.

James exhaled sharply, sinking to sit down on the ugly purple bean bag.

"I uh am not really comfortable with this happening here, but since this is a Stark model, and I assume you might actually be able to help, I am trusting you with this." James said slowly through gritted teeth.

"Thank you so much! You won't regret it I promise!"

***

Steve found the duo in Clint's bedroom, their foreheads close together, James' metal arm being slowly put back by Tony.

"Try it now." Tony got back up, grinning.

James flexed his fingers a few times, and the tension in his shoulders lessened.

"It doesn't hurt now!" He smiled slowly, looking up at Tony.

"It was a minor hiccup with the circuit, I think you will need regular checkups for the arm to keep it running in a good condition." Tony nodded.

"I don't like the SI scientists." James shudders.

"Oh James don't you worry, you can always come to Carbonell, or if you don't like offices and labs, you can always come to me and I would love to help maintain it!" Tony was quick to reassure him.

"You would do that?" James was looking at Tony as if he hung the stars.

"Absolutely!" Tony smiled brightly, offering him his right arm to haul James back up with his left metal arm.

"Tony did you just illegal science again?" Steve tutted.

"It's not illegal if I it's proprietary technology I had a part in inventing Steve." Tony rolled his eyes. "Plus I was just looking at an 'appliance' for a friend. Not like it should concern you."

"He is right you know." James' eye flashed in challenge, daring Steve to say anything.

"Where's Sam and Clint?" Tony called out from the kitchen.

"They have gone to the vet for Lucky's tummy aches."

"Oh that means they won't make it back in time for dinner then." Tony sighed, bringing in three cups of lemonade and offered one to each of the men.

"I was planning on cooking my mom's carbonara recipe, you gentlemen interested in joining me?" 

"I have a date." Steve smiled apologetically, remembering Sharon.

"How about you James?" Tony asked, sipping his lemonade slowly.

"Oh please, call me Bucky, that's the nickname that my friends use. And I would love to have dinner!" Bucky's eyes where practically shining.

"Oh look, my date just cancelled." Steve quickly brought up his phone, eyes narrowing at Bucky suspiciously.

The rest of the day goes by pretty quickly, Bucky and Tony managed to fix the loft back up to prime condition pretty quickly.

It was pretty obvious to Steve that Bucky was planning to proposition Tony, the naive, hopeless but kind fool that he is. Steve can literally taste the air of impending awkwardness and cringe threatening to descend soon.

"Why did you invite him to dinner?" Steve hissed at Tony pulling him to an empty spot.

"Because I didn't want to make my Mama's Carbonara just for two! Sam and Clint would have liked it if they hadn't gone to the vet's today, and this man is just helping us fix our shoody loft, don't you think he deserves a thank you?" Tony looked pissed.

"You already did that by giving him lemonade and fixing his arm!"

"Psh you wouldn't understand about that. And you are being your grumpy I-don't-trust-people self right now and you won't see reason if it came and hit you in the face."

"That man wants to get in your pants you dolt! Can't you see?"

"Oh my god Steve can you be normal for like two seconds?"

"I am not normal? That guy is practically salivating every time he's holding up the ladder for you!" 

"Hey Tony! Where are the scissors?" Bucky called and Tony left Steve, mumbling something that sounded suspiciously like "Unbelievable".

***

"Hey nice outfit!" Tony welcomed Bucky back in at 8 on the dot, smiling warmly at the newly-shaven, clean hair up in a half bun, and Henley clad Bucky, who offered him a bottle.

"That's the best Vodka bottle at my home, my ex-wife gave it to me."

"Oh!" Tony took it gently, and led Bucky to the dining table which was laid out for three people, Steve already sitting at the head of the table, strategically preventing the other two from sitting next to each other.

Tony brought out the pasta and opened the Vodka, pouring some for the three. Bucky downed his like a shot, Steve and Tony spit theirs out back in to their glasses, blanching.

"That's really strong." Tony coughed, quickly shoving in a mouthful of the pasta and relaxed as the sharp taste was replaced with memories of happy summers and his mother's lilting voice as they made the pasta from scratch.

"That's how Nat used to like it. Still likes it I assume." Bucky smiled sadly, his eyes looking into the distance. "She used to support me all the time, before you know-" He gestured helplessly to his metal arm, letting out a mirthless laugh.

"Even Steve went through a breakup recently" Tony gestured at the glaring blonde with his fork.

"Is that true?" Bucky's eyebrows raised in interest, looking at Steve.

"Uh um yeah, it was like six months back, no big deal. Peggy and I had a mutual breakup, clean, we knew it wouldn't work." Steve shrugged but the set of his shoulders and eyes showed his the actual state.

"Did her leaving you feel like someone physically punched your gut, twisted your heart out of your body, lay waste it with the most sharpest and painful things in the world and put back the broken scarred tissue back in, raw, bleeding and a bloody mess?" Bucky asked, full focus on Steve who looked to be at a loss of words at the sudden direction of the conversation.

"Something like that bud." Steve shrugged finally relaxing.

"Ah I get you, come 'ere" Bucky suddenly hugged Steve, thumping his back, whispering soothing nonsense in his ear.

Tony met Steve's eyes over Bucky's shoulder, smirking.

Steve rolled his eyes at the unspoken I-told-you-so.

The trio ate the pasta, a tad bit more comfortable than before, Bucky warming up more after knocking back another glass of the lethal vodka.

"Alright I need to go to the bathroom." Bucky stood up once the last of the pasta was done.

"Down the hall to the right." Steve gestured, and Bucky nodded.

"So Captain, how does it feel to be wrong now at this point in time?" Tony smirked, mimicking shoving a mic as though interviewing Steve.

"You think I am wrong? The guy is clearly trying to win me over so that he can put his moves on you without me stopping it!" 

"Gah why are you so goddam stubborn! For once in your life can't you admit that you are wrong and people can actually be nice and helpful without requiring anything in return?"

"How did you even survive this long on your own?" Steve shook his head appalled.

"There is no part of Bucky that wants to sleep with me! If anything you guys actually have more potential to hit it off considering all the things you have in common!" 

"He has literally been acting like a starving man being offered a free all-you-can-eat buffet whenever he saw you today!" Steve whisper-yelled.

Tony scoffed, rolling his eyes. "No he hasn't."

"Open your eyes wide you punk-"

"Oh hey Bucky, what happened to the henley, did something fall on it?"

"I have never actually taken part in a threesome, that's what we are doing here tonight, right?" Bucky smiled awkwardly, scratching his neck somewhat adorably.

"This I did not expect." Tony blanched silently, watching Bucky slowly loosen the buttons on his under shirt as he made his way to Tony's bedroom.

"I love seeing you proven wrong Tony." Steve smirked.

"I might have been a bit off about Bucky, but you have to understand, people are inherently actually nice!"

"Tony humans suck, people have no sense of selflessness and rarely are worth the effort!"

"The man is hurting from a divorce and I assume your misanthropy can be attributed to your breakup too?" 

"Are you still making excuses for him?" Steve was almost yelling. "Well, look, if you feel so bad, then just get in there, go show that man a good night!"  
  
  


"You know what? I might just do that!" Tony was fuming, glaring angrily at Steve as he stalked away.

"Yes, come on in fellas, dip your feet into the pool of possibilities." Bucky nodded as he saw them both come in, some Russian ballad playing from his phone.

"Hey, Bucky, let's get weird and toss that ball around, huh?" Steve grinned rakishly (and mockingly).  
  
  


"So turned on right now." Tony bantered back.

"Okay, you would seriously have a threesome with that man just to get me to admit that I'm wrong?" Steve looked perplexed in the face of Tony's obstinacy.

"I think we could do a lot worse than Bucky. He's got strong arms and pretty soft hair." They both turned to see him swaying with the music slowly, disentangling his hair from the bun.

"A _menage a trois_ is about the three of us."  
  


"Menaging all around"

"Oui"

"You guys need to talk a little bit more I think... let me change the track." Bucky walked to his phone, his shirt already unbuttoned halfway.

"This is happening with this guy. This is happening right now, Tony." Steve desperately whispered.  
  
  


"Yeah." Tony nodded, staring down at Steve with disappointment.

"Why can't you just admit that he's a good guy?" Tony was so enraged.  
  
  


"We are about to have a _menage a trois_ 'cause you won't admit you're wrong. You're out of your mind!" Steve clutched at his hair.  
  
  


"Oh yeah that's great, tell him about how he makes you feel, yeah, go for it." Bucky nodded encouragingly, unaware of what was actually happening.

"I think you are a pain in the ass with your constant everyone-is-nice attitude!"

"And I think you are an insufferable, pretentious git for continuing to believe the worst about everyone, including yourself." Tony exhaled loudly. 

"Wow that is a lot to take in... I think you guys need time to talk this out before I come into the picture yeah? Take your time and work it out... I know relationships are a lot of work but it is worth it with the right people." Bucky pats the both of them on the shoulder gently before picking up his henley and walking out, just as Sam and Clint walk in. 

"What the hell just happened here?" Clint whispered, eyeing the functional everything in the loft with marvel.

"Oh how is Lucky?" Tony recovered first, quickly going to check up on the dog and gave him gentle tummy rubs and fluffed behind his ears.

"Vet said it wad Clint letting Lucky eat the dam pizza. Next time we all gotta keep an eye on him." Same led the dog out leaving the shell shocked Steve and the nervous Tony along again. 


End file.
